23, ocpd-perfectionist & clumsy chemist
i ii iii

kmk 1st sem ; adapting
Friday, June 15, 2012 • 9:04 PM

Assalamualaikum, masuk minggu ni dah tiga minggu aku di matriks. Alhamdulillah selepas menangis setimba, aku akhinya berjaya mengatasi penyakit kronik yang dikenali sebagai ''homesick''. Homesick is very dangerous for someone. It can kill you slowly without you realize it. Your mental state is not stable. Semua kerja yang hang buat, semuanya mengingatkan hang kepada rumah. Alhamdulillah, aku maybe 80% free from homesick. 

Masalah yang dihadapi sekarang adalah aku mengalami culture shock di mana pembelajaran di matriks memang laju macam bas ekspres. Okay aku tukar - rasanya macam FIRE FLIGHT. You got it? Okay sat, aku nak speaking. Dah lama tak speaking, haha. Although i'm PDT student, and the method for teaching that lecturers used is a bit slow, but i'm tension now. I'm okay with 3 subjects, but for Mathematics, i'm still phobia with my past memories. For me, Mathematics is SCARY! Oh ya Tuhan, gimme a strong heart to face this.

And also i like to sleep, and that's mean i'm not study so much. I dunno how to say, but i think my body get tired very easily. Around 10 p.m i feel that my head is spinning and my bed is shining. Haha, that's a little bit funny, but yes that's true. So after this i need to solve this problem. I need to manage my time properly regarding how the worst situation i'm facing right now. When i think i need to leave my interest on watching ANIME and surfing the INTERNET, i feel lonely, hurt, and ''doubt''. I ask my self, ''Hey Ina, can you do it? Something that become my flesh everyday and now i'm gonna leave it, so can i do it?'' Oh, same thing, gimme strong heart ya Allah. Strong desire to keep my dream become reality.

Hmm, what i'm really sad, the things that frightening me so much happened just now. My bond between my family and i just start to scatter like Sonbonzakura Kageyoshi from Kuchiki Byakuya sword. This time only my father come to bus stop to pick me up. My mom waiting me at home. She can accept reality and our separation. I dunno how to describe my feeling? It is something gloomy or happy? Gloomy because they can accept the situation and that's mean they can live happily without me. And happy because that's law of nature that happen to all of us. Nevermind, just follow what is going on and struggle to achieve the target. Assalamualaikum.

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