23, ocpd-perfectionist & clumsy chemist
i ii iii

upm 1st sem ; experiences
Sunday, October 19, 2014 • 1:31 PM
Assalamualaikum minna, ENNAMOON K. is here, typing her entry to story her experiences! Alhamdulillah i safely arrived my home yesterday for mid sem break from a very long journey, 5 hours duration. I stayed in University Putra Malaysia for one month and seventeen days already. And in that duration, i got to know many new things. I got to know, how hard and difficult to survive, how discipline you had to be in order to score and keep maintaining your position, to stand tall. I cried so much, called my parents sobbing and throwing up everything, kept saying "I cant do it here! This is to difficult! I want to stop!" That was a true story, i went mad and kept my head down, losing to my destiny, after failed to answer Physical and Inorganic Chemistry Paper properly.

Life in university compared to life in your primary, secondary school, and matriculation - It was thousand times difficult. Everything here, you had to arrange and do it all by yourself. Sense of ALERT must be keep at the high priority. Everything must be done faster - assignments must be submitted before due date and even moving to your next class, you must be faster as you can. Run if you need to run, but if you are smart enough, wait for the bus, right?

Let me recall my memories.
My first day, reached UPM - it was kinda tired, yeah afterall i stayed in my car for barely 12 hours, from Kedah to Selangor. I didnt go to Selangor for 7 years already. So, when i went there for registration, my back was hurt. Thanks to facilitators, their kindness really helped new students to register peacefully and smoothly. My parents didnt stay for a long period. After registration was completed, and all the things were placed in my room, they went home. It was really sad and frustrating moment. But, still i said "This is just a small sacrification compare to what i'm going to get."

Then, i went through an orientation week. I got to know many friends, from chemistry department. I got to know, Nurul Atikah *Industrial Chemistry 's student*, Nurashikin *Instrumentation Science 's student*, Queenalia *Environmental Study 's student* and lastly Felicity Marcia *Petroleum Chemistry 's student* who is my coursemate. All of them including me are from 6th College. That's mean, we are Sixers! The orientation week was not so tough as orientation week at matriculation. The only difficulty faced by me was, we needed to walk to Dewan Besar UPM. It was very tough for the first time. But, when we did it everyday, it became more easier.

First test was answered by me last 2 weeks. It was hella difficult. All definition were not used in that test, it was more toward applying the concept. Oh god! First test pon dah screwed up. In week 4, we only got one test to answer, but in week 5, we had to answer for Organic Chemistry, Calculus, and General Physic. In week 6, we faced Titas 's test, *muntah pelangi menjawab semua soalan ni*. I called my parents, and i said i could not do it. It was too difficult, not at my level. I cried, i wanted to stop already. Gave up on everything.

Then, the results for tests had been announced. I went to see my lecturer. My heartbeats ran wild, and i guessed that i will get a very bad result. When i took my paper, it was written on that paper, i got 31/40. Ohhh? Seriously? Wah, i never expect this kind of thing gonna happen to me. Afterall, i answered all the questions like people with no brain. Same applied to the another result. Even General Physic 's result also shocked me. They were not so bad.

Soul that had been tore apart started to build up, regenerating new vision and mission. "I can do this! I can survive! With one term, i have to give my all, i have to put everything on that line. For my family's hope, for my father's dream - to see his daughter get a good job in future." 
I'm going to break through all these things, i'm going to move forward, even the challenges keep coming and pressure me, i will do it. Pray for me, assalamualaikum.

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