Sunday, April 17, 2016 • 7:05 AMon this mid sem break i returned home,
i asked abah to bring me to pasar malam,
then after maghrib we went to pasar malam by his motorcycle.
abah has changed.
before this, he liked to go to anywhere by his car,
now he likes to make it simple - just using his motorcycle.
i wonder how many years have passed ?
i majorly used my time to keep studying at matriculation and university,
without realizing there's a deterioration of his abilities.
abah can't see well anymore,
abah can't bring many stuffs anymore,
abah's steps are not well balanced and seems off.
oh i see, how many years have passed for this man,
he used up all of his strengths and energies to support our family,
he is on the way to evanescent.
the fear of losing him or family members bottled up inside of me,
i'm struggling while whispering "that's okay - that's how life gonna be."
it's really complicated to keep my sanity while battling these twisted feelings.
now, don't think hard - we still have time, let's create memorable memories,
before we die and return to our absolute destination - return to our Almighty.
17th April 2016 - Sunday (07:10a.m)